Disclaimer: "The whole Mobile Suit Gundam franchise ain't yours. Hell, you don't even own PART of it." "No, shit, Sherlock!"

I made my way towards the window in my room, my temples pounding. I looked down, and grabbed onto the pipe. I was agile enough to make it down without a scratch, so I made my way to Relena's house. Everything rushed into my brain, and utter confusion enveloped my thoughts. But, in the midst of all this, I seemed to know where Relena's house was, and when I got there, I knew where her room was. I picked up a small rock and threw it at her window. I couldn't help wondering how I knew, but so many of my questions have already been left unanswered that I didn't expect this one to be answered either.

Relena opened the shutters and looked down on me. "Heero! What's wrong?" she asked.

I guess the worry on my face could be seen in the darkness. I couldn't answer her; I couldn't find the right words to say.

She stared back at me with worrying eyes and said, "Just wait there… I'll be right down."

I couldn't hear her escape her room and climb down the stairs, but in the next moment, she has opened the front door. She had a black robe on that was wrapped tightly around her body. She caressed my cheek and asked, "Heero… why are you here so late?"

I broke from her warm hand and grabbed into my pocket. I handed her the piece of paper that had started this commotion. She looked at it, reading it thoroughly in the dim lighting. When she finished, she looked up at me and shot me a strange look. "Heero… this is a suicide note. Were you planning on…"

"NO!" I interrupted her, my voice shaky. I calmed myself down, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in the back of my throat. "I didn't… I don't think I'm the one who wrote this. I just found it. But maybe… do you think that…"

She turned away, deep in thought, "Maybe a single traumatizing event led to the loss of your own memory and gave you another one. Maybe you tried to commit suicide, but you failed. Maybe while you were sitting there, dying, you were given another chance for a better life." She turned back to me and took my hand. I looked back at her, but she was staring at my left hand. She lifted up my sleeve and looked into my eyes with worry.

"What is it?" I asked, my voice still trembling. I looked down at my wrist and saw scars from what seemed like deep, long cuts. I looked back at her. "But…"

"Heero… you're sure you can't remember, right?"

I shook my head, fear in my eyes. 'Why is this happening to me? I found the life that I have always wanted… but am I suicidal like this… like my other life. My other life… did I ever have another life? Or was it all…'

Relena threw her arms around me and said, "I don't want to lose you, Heero. I love you. I don't know what's wrong with you, but we'll fix it. We'll fix it."

As she hugged me, I stared at my wrist. The cuts reminded me of the feeling of the fire brushing across every limb of my body when I had destroyed my own Gundam. I grabbed my head, my temples pounding. I crouched close to the ground, trying to make the pain stop.

"What's wrong?!" I heard Relena scream. Her voice seemed so distant.

Strange pictures kept flying across my eyes. Some I remembered from my life, some seemed so foreign. I saw myself as the stiff, unloving person I always tried to be. I was unmoving and persistent. Then I saw this other me. I was living this joyous life, I couldn't understand why this other me would try to kill himself. I saw him with his family at the table, smiling at him. They were happy when he made it onto the basketball team, they were happy just because he was there. I wanted that life. I saw him with Relena in complete bliss. I wanted to live like that. I saw his thoughts… 'I've lost everything even though they don't know it. I've lost all of them… or have they lost me?' I felt his guilt… his anger. I saw him in the room, which I had stayed, a knife in his hand. I saw him staring at his wrists, his eyes so lost and empty. Slowly, he cut his wrists.

I fell to the ground; I could feel the knife burning its name into my skin. "Heero! Heero!" I could hear Relena screaming.

'Why? Why?' I kept wondering. 'This other me… why would he kill himself? He had a perfect life. Why would he do this to me?' I couldn't understand; everything suddenly became very blurry. I could barely hear Relena voice anymore. My temple ached, my wrist was burning; I could hardly breathe anymore.

Then, I couldn't hear Relena voice at all. I heard people screaming. I heard that same voice from that school… the English teacher. I could hear him screaming, "We're going to lose this boy! Hurry, he's going into cardiac arrest!"